The Goddess and my beliefs

Prior to my path of paganism I had always rejected the idea of any God or Goddess that I had been introduced to. I had assumed at school that the Religious education lessons would give me enough scope to decide if religion was something that was a part of my life. I had no connection with anything I was ever taught but I knew that there was something more. I had always been connected with nature and would try to explain to people how I believed the actual physical earth to be something that I connected with on a spiritual level. At this stage I had never heard of the term paganism and had no idea that my feelings and beliefs were so closely linked to such an amazing set of religions. 

After discovering paganism the reading commenced and I was overwhelmed by the numberous deities assosiated with different pantheons. I purchased the biggest book in the world telling the stories of the myths and legends behind them. I unnecessarily pressured myself into choosing a goddess and choosing a god and was thrown back when it just wasnt feeling right. I think alot of people new to the path of paganism can assosiate with this- trying to cram too much into too little time, read too many books and feel the need to know everything about every God or Godess. 

My painting of how I view the Goddess

For me this was a time of realization- I knew I didn't connect with any particular goddess, god or pantheon, for me my beliefs are all about the Earth and Mother Nature. I look to 'Gaia' as my goddess, and I find reassurance in seeing her every day in the seasons, in the weather, in beautiful flowers or in a gust of wind. This is such a simple but effective way of viewing the divine, but it works perfectly for me. 

For me the goddesses and gods we see pictures of in books are how we personify the different aspects or different faces of the one overall divine source. A huge entity that surrounds us in every rock, stone, field and pasture. Mother nature herself. 

I still find myself calling upon different Goddesses for different things- but to me this is calling on one particular aspect of Mother Nature. For example I may call upon Bridget for work related issues (as I am a Midwife and she is the Goddess of midwifery) She is the aspect of mother nature that is fertility, pregnancy and birth. 

Every Pagan will view the great Goddess in many different ways and that's the beauty of paganism- you are free to chose your path and select what feels right for you. 

Merry Meet!!

  

Merry meet all!! I thought it would make sense for my first blog post to be a little about myself and what to expect from this blog. My name is Louise- or Amber Rose to my pagan pals, I am 25 years old and live in the West Midlands, UK. After much thought I have decided to start a Pagan related blog- to share my journey and learn from others- hopefully meeting other new like minded people along the way. Paganism has been a part of my life for many years- before I even realized it myself. When I was younger I used to spend hours sitting in the garden at night staring at the sky in fascination- my family worried I was a little 'different' but I was causing no harm so let me get on with it. In my early teens I became interested in crystals. Every year since I was a baby my family would have a weeks holiday down in the New Forest- It always has the strangest feeling of 'being home' whenever I am there. The beautiful little village of Burley was where I purchased my first set of crystals from my favorite little shop 'coven of witches'.

 The beautiful village of Burley, New Forest.

 I returned every year and my collection of crystals along with my knowledge about them gradually increased. In my later teens I remember having a conversation about religion and trying desperately to explain what I believed- but I couldn't place it in any of the mainstream religions. I started reading and came across paganism and Wicca- I was in awe, I was so excited, everything I was reading what how I had always felt. I didn't feel like I was reading it all for the first time- I felt like I was being reminded.... I honestly felt like a weight had been lifted and a huge gap in my life filled. For a couple of years I continued to read lots, ordering books off Amazon and trying to hide them from my family and friends in fear of what they would think. Then gradually as I became more confident in what I believed I started leaving the odd 'mother nature' book around, or 'earth magic' to prompt a few questions. Gradually I opened up and enjoyed sharing my beliefs- I even got my dad interested in crystals and he has a small collection now himself! (he has some pretty expensive fancy ones i'm even a little jealous of myself :p) I am now totally open with my family about my path and am happy to leave my alter, wands, Athame and other tools out for them to see. If they laugh- I educate them- and often they are thrown back by the answers and explanations I give.

 

Me at the Mercian Gathering

Initially I felt myself swayed towards the religion of Wicca. The material I read was primarily Wiccan, I watched you tube videos from the lovely 'charmingpixieflora' and 'witchontheroccks' amongst others and was inspired by them. At this point in my later teens I started practicing solitary witchcraft. Initially I would lock myself away in my bedroom and spend hours researching on the internet and writing in my book of shadows. I had purchased all of the basic tools I felt I needed off the internet and felt empowered and blissfully happy with the way I felt afterwards. The only thing missing at this point was my desire to meet with other like-minded people and to be part of the pagan community- it can be a very lonely path to start out on. I joined forums and got chatting too a few fellow pagans and it was such a joy for me to be able to talk about my interests and ask questions first hand. I had so many questions spinning around in my head that books cannot always answer. One day I was in one of the 'witchy shops' when I ended up getting chatting to a man who introduced me to his small coven and I ended up becoming a member, meeting some of the most lovely friends imaginable. I had some fabulous times with them, visiting the roll rights, celebrating the Sabbats and the Esbats and enjoyed being part of a pagan family. Unfortunately the coven have now gone their separate ways and I am working solitary again- but I have made some friends for life that I love and adore. The Coven were not a 'wiccan' coven- they were a coven of witches who practiced witchcraft. They opened my eyes to the significant different between the two (which I will go into more detail about in future blog posts) but as I developed my knowledge I cut away from the path of 'wicca' and felt more comfortable and connected with the craft itself combined with other areas of paganism. I joined a Heathernry meditation group- which again expanded my knowledge outside Wicca and Witchcraft and gave me the incentive to explore all areas of paganism in more detail. I attended a few different moots and again met some amazing friends. 

My beliefs has changed alot over the years and I believe this is healthy in a spiritual path. I used to try and do everything 'by the book' so to speak, but now lean more towards doing things that feel right- I have pretty much ditched the books as resources as deep down I know I already have the knowledge inside me.

I have attended a few pagan camp such as the well know Mercian Gathering, and absolutely adore the atmosphere there. Finally a place where I can relax and totally be myself without fear of any judgement. Drumming and chanting around the fire is such an empowering experience- like nothing I had ever imagined. Camping in the middle of nature with the friendly bunch of people you will ever meet is why I look forward to camps all year long.

So that intro was slight longer than I had expected (and that was in a nutshell) apologies :) I look forward to hearing from you all, I have made so many wonderful friends along this path and look forward to meeting many more! Please Subscribe and feel free to email me or leave comments!